14 weeks

This past Sunday I went to my grandparents' after church and found four letters waiting for me. My last four. It saddens me to end the romantic old-world act of letter writing, but it's bittersweet because this means we're on the home stretch of AJ's time at basic training. There are officially less than 10 days until his graduation. Ten! Actually, I will get to see him before then, during his Turning Blue Ceremony on Thursday the 2nd. If it's possible, I think I'm even more excited to see him this time around. As of today he has been gone a total of 14 weeks and believe you me, there has been some major growth during our time apart.

To quote the song from that AT&T commercial: "I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you. Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you." It amazes me that I can feel like I'm falling all over again for someone who has been my boyfriend for...basically forever. Okay, so five years isn't quite as long as forever, but it's still a long time.

Now that we're within the last two weeks of his training, AJ is permitted to use his cell phone during personal time. Last night we were talking about plans for the future and where we're headed. In a moment of reassurance, he told me he feels about me now the way he did during the first year of our relationship. Can we be any more in sync? It's like this time apart, the letters, the entire experience has given us the opportunity to get back to the basics. I've probably said this before, but the separation really has been a blessing in disguise.

In his second- or third-to-last letter he alludes to a passage in the Bible that discusses a "wife of noble character." Proverbs 31:10-31.

This is probably the biggest compliment AJ has ever given me. When I opened the letter, I didn't expect him to speak of me and reference such a beautiful passage in the same sentence! I'm sure most people strive to be better people on a daily basis. Better friends, partners, parents, children, sisters, brothers, etc. It means a lot to me to know that no matter how big or small, constant or erratic, my efforts do not go unnoticed. That he knows me and he still sees me as a potential "wife of noble character." And while I do strive to be a better person, he makes me want to try that much harder.

"I'm already blessed. I'm simply waiting on the rest."

2 Peter 3:9 (New International Version)

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Am I naive?

Lately I've been concerned about a friendship I have with a member of the opposite sex. According to my dad, I'm naive because "this type of friendship is not normal." Hearing my dad's reaction was like a slap in the face because I had no idea he felt like this. It makes me wonder if other people also think my friendship with the person in question isn't normal. If it's not normal, does that mean I did something wrong? And does my surprise prove that I am indeed naive?

*This probably doesn't make any sense to anyone, but that's okay.

12 weeks

Internet, I'm so ashamed. It's been nearly one month since my last post. That's four weeks that I could have been blogging about my EMOTIONS and FEELINGS concerning AJ and our relationship. You know, the stuff that makes people gag. In the last four weeks, I've received letters, phone calls and 36 hours of bliss. Well, it was technically 33 hours but who's counting?

Twelve weeks. Exactly. Three months of training, learning and growing. There's just so much to document, so many things I want to leave here for AJ to read once he comes home. And since I have only two minutes to post this before it's technically "12 weeks and 1 day," I'm going to leave you with this: Visiting AJ during Memorial Day weekend was the best weekend I've had in while. Everything felt perfect even when it really wasn't. And I can't wait to go back next month!

7 Weeks...and 6 Days

I used to hate Tuesdays because nothing special ever happens on a Tuesday. And mine are usually filled with back-to-back classes anyway. Then Allan left and now I look forward to every Tuesday because it marks the passing of another week. Last Tuesday marked the 7th week since he left for basic training. Unfortunately, I was consumed with school and papers and exams that I didn't make my Tuesday post. So here I am commemorating the "7 weeks and 6 days" mark. Go me.

I've received quite a few letters since my last post and I'm extremely behind on sharing with everyone. But I'm putting that in the back of my mind for the next five minutes because ALLAN CALLED ME! I went home to Harlingen this weekend and on the way back to Austin he called me. It was 8 minutes in heaven. At first, there were a few minutes of silent dumbfoundedness because I couldn't believe it was him. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello.
Him: Hey.

PAUSE

Him: Guess who!
Me: Shut up! Are you serious?! IT'S YOU?!

I couldn't get over it. I squealed and screamed like a little girl, which should surprise NO ONE. And I can't begin to describe the emotional roller coaster I went on after that conversation. We hung up abruptly because he had to go, which is completely understandable. When it was over, I was so happy to have heard from him, but it felt completely...inadequate. I feel like I left so much out, yet part of me thinks I said to much. I didn't ask him all my questions. I could kick myself because everyone knows how neurotic I am. Everyone knows I've been rehearsing FOR WEEKS what I would say to him if he called.

He had questions of his own and I guess I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to just listen to him. I miss that. I miss being able to lounge around and really listen to each other.

I've spent almost two months trying to talk about him with other people, to other people. And in the last week I've become so tired of it. I'm ready for him to come home so I can talk to him about him. Does that make sense?

In a letter dated May 2nd, he said he wishes for a PB&J every now and then and that he's looking forward to drinking "a Coke in peace with a nice meal." (Apparently the Coke is a big deal not only because he can't have it now, but also because he's not allowed to sip his beverages. He has to drink them in one gulp.) And the next line said:

"It'll be even better if I eat said meal with you."

If he thinks he's excited, he has no idea.